sorry... roller derby talk. hope you've seen whip it!

my friend and i are on different roller derby teams (same league, though). i'm a dead girl, she's a riot doll. we joined at the same time, but she missed a lot of practices at the beginning because of work. even though she missed a lot of practices, she got REALLY good, REALLY fast. she scored 12 points last night while scrimmaging. that's 3 laps. she got through the pack first and became lead jammer against another really strong girl. she's super skinny and has really long legs (well, really long compared to mine...). there's sort of a one sided rivalry between us. if that makes any sense. i was like, "oh good. she didn't make the traveling all-star team either. so i don't feel as bad." but since she did so good last night, the captain/founder/coach/trainer was like, "well, i think i just found another Jammer!" crap. crap crap crap.  being on the all-star team was one of my goals. i worked so hard, and i improved a LOT, but apparently i'm still not strong enough to be on that team. my biggest weakness is my endurance... my legs are much shorter than all the other girls' legs, so i have to take three strides to their one, and it tires me out. so i need to work on that. even if i do get lead jammer, i usually get lapped by the other team's jammer. since my friend and i are on different teams, we will be jamming against each other, i'm pretty sure, during our intra-league bouts. she's the one i want to beat the most. for some reason. i'm normally not competetive at all. and i really don't think she is aware that i have this one-sided rivalry with her. lol.

has anyone else ever felt this way?

P.S.
i started a blog, if anyone is interested... it will focus on roller derby & such. the el-jay just isn't doing it for me anymore.

fivepoundfall.blogspot.com

whoops. ignore that. click the link in the siggie

I've felt like that. Several times.  I'm sure everyone has.  So don't feel too guilty about it.  There's nothing wrong with a little friendly competition.  But don't dwell on it, either.  I've learned that dwelling on something like that only makes you crazy.  Do the best you can, the absolute best you can, and appreciate that you've found something in this life that you are able to do without it seeming to suck the life out of you.  For example: a job you hate, that'll suck the life right outta ya.  Some people have music, other people collect stamps, and then there's people who build those tiny ships inside those glass bottles. You have roller derby.

That's just my personal opinion though.  I think Baz Lurman said it best in his song EVERYBODY'S FREE TO WEAR SUNSCREEN (please note that he didn't write it, but he did sing it....) in the lines "my advice has no basis more reliable than my own, meandering experience."

If you've never heard that song, you should youtube it.  Also if you've never seen the movie, Imaginary Heros, you should watch it.  The opening scene is at a swim meet and there's this voice-over about one of the guys who's swimming.  It says something along the lines of;(paraphrased) this guy is good at swimming more than anyone else I know is good at doing whatever it is that they are good at doing.  But this guy HATES swimming more than anyone else I know hates doing, whatever it is that they hate doing. One might say that having to do something you're really good at but absolutely hate, is worse that not being too good at something you love doing, although, that's really just speculation.  It probably has more to do with perspective than actual degrees of worse-ness. And yeah, I'm aware that worse-ness is not a word, but I can't think of the word that actually goes there.

I mean take worst-case-scenario, ya know, she makes all-star and you don't.  That doesn't mean you'll never make all-star, it just means it might take a little longer than you'd hoped.  And that's not exactly a bad thing, 'cause it gives anticipation a little longer to build up and that makes seeing that goal realized, all that much sweeter.

 Don't let it be more than friendly competition, though, 'cause if it becomes more, you might feel the need to act on it in a negative way.  And sometimes karma gets all johnny-on-the-spot with that whole coming-back-around thing it does.

Hope I haven't bored anyone to sleep, or pissed anybody off.

i do dwell, but i'm not dwelling on this particular thing. lol. i watch her get through the pack like butter and i attept to pick up those same skills. when she does some crazy foot work to get over for a whip, i tell her how awesome it is.

i am kind of glad we are on different teams, but practicing together has brought us closer together. we've been getting to know each other away from the mutual friends. heart to hearts over a beer happen almost every time after practice.

i'm really not sure what's going to happen in the future. i want to go back to school in the fall, but i probably won't be able to afford it so i can put it off until spring semester... but that'll be in the middle of next season, and there's big plans in mind for next season. and if i become a better skater, i may try out for a chicago league when i move down there.

i really didn't expect to love it this much. but i need to get out of wausau.

oh, and thank you :)

You're welcome.  I've never been to a roller derby, but after watching WHIP IT, I think it'd be awesome.  Also I gotta say Drew Barymore did a great job as a first time director.

The first time I read your signature I thought it said 'hydrogenized'.